i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
