I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
