Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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