Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this beer tastes like vomit already
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
