16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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