i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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