I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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