Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
