So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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