I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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