apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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