Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
