everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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