I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
