White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
