Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
