Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize