sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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