You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
