I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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