well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
