Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
