After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
