who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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