Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
