True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
