one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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