elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
