That's when you crack a 10am beer
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
