did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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