Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize