No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize