it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize