The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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