the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
