I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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