I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
