have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize