this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize