I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
