Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
