Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
