You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
