so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
