Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
