You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
