Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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