if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
