are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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