is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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