I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You dont lie about slip and slides
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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