Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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