if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
