They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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