Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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