Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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