He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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