i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How many fucks given?
0.12846
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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