the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
