she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
