I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize