So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
