so that wasnt chicken after all
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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