Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
this is an emotional support booty call
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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