one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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