my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
