Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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