But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
