i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
